Shit people say to female veterans
- When the doctor at the VA raises his gray eyebrow and shoots quizzical looks at you while you hold your toddler, and then back again at your chart before finally asking if you’ve ever served in the military
Seriously? Look Doc, I didn’t marry into the right to enter this facility, I spent months (some of us years) and blood, sweat and tears for the right to receive this medical treatment. I’ve done more rotations overseas than you’ve changed those prescription eye glasses.
2. When you ask the woman behind the information desk of a major airport for directions to the USO and she responds, “you have to be accompanied by a servicemember to enter.
Accompanied? Lady, I am the servicemember.
3. When your mom sings a lullaby to your newborn child and then abruptly contributes her revelation that the child means you will never be deployed again. “They can’t deploy you if you have a child.”
The Army provides six weeks of maternity leave, Mom. Uncle Sam isn’t going to be understanding if I tell him I have a four-year-old at home and ISIS will have to wait a few years.
4. That look of surprise every female veteran gets when you’re dressed for drill and pregnant. “They can’t make you go when you’re pregnant!”
I’m pregnant, not disabled and I’m going to work! For me, work just happens to include a gaudy uniform with concrete strapped to my feet.
5. When you’re at a VFW function and people tell you how nice it is that you’re supporting your husband and other vets.
Excuse me? I am the veteran; he’s just a desk bitch.
6. When your dad gives you a hug at your pre-deployment ceremony and then announces to your family that you’ll be missed but he’s thankful he has a daughter going because females won’t cross the battle lines.
Dad, what fucking battle lines? I’m sure ISIS will find out quickly that an American woman is in their area and they’ll go ahead and disarm all of their IEDs and halt their guerrilla warfare tactics out of respect for my gender.
Do any of you have any similar experiences or funny/outrageous things people have said to you about your military experience? Share them in the comments below.
Remember, this is meant as a comical recap, it is not meant to belittle or create anger.